Tag: autism parenting

Archives

Is There a Cure for Autism? Part 1

February 1, 2021

“Is there a cure for Autism?” 

“How long will my child have to be in therapy?” 

“How long until they’re like other kids their age?” 

Each week I speak with 10 or so parents, most of who have newly diagnosed autistic children. 

These are questions that many parents ask. It’s so difficult to ask these questions and it’s equally difficult to answer them. I am always honest when I answer.  I tell them that I believe that each child can make change and learn new skills but that there is no cure for autism. It’s not for me to say how ‘normal’ they will become. I try to stress to these parents that their child has so much potential and with the right mix of learning opportunities they will grow into incredible little humans. 

Mom holding son while searching the internet for a cure for autism.

Taking the expectation of being ‘normal’ off the table is a relief for some parents. Others aren’t ready to hear my message. They’re still grieving the loss of the child they thought they’d have. One of the most difficult things for people to handle is uncertainty. Humans are hardwired to have a plan or at least a destination. We dream of the future. When your child is diagnosed with a special need your journey takes a turn. There is a wonderful poem that conveys this message so beautifully. It’s called ‘Welcome to Holland’ and it was written by Emily Perl Kingsley in 1987. 

(I need to say that no one poem or piece of writing will perfectly sum up the experience of the entire special needs parenting population.  This poem should be taken for what it is, one woman’s perspective, at one point in her life. Some people will identify with it and others will not.) 

What Should Parents Do?

There are a number of evidence based treatments for autism. Research the options that are available in your area and decide which aligns with your beliefs and goals. Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) has the most research backing it’s effectiveness for autistic children. There is also Speech Therapy that can be essential for autistic kids as well as Occupational Therapy. There is a lot of overlap between the disciplines. Sometimes your child’s needs can be addressed by the ABA team alone, but sometimes the expertise of a specialist is required. Any therapy team you work with should be open to collaboration with other disciplines that provide evidence based therapy. 

Alternative Cures For Autism

As with any issue that affects a group of people, there will always be bad actors who try to dupe vulnerable people. I always caution my clients against spending resources on non evidence based interventions.  Resources can be money, time and energy.  Very few people have unlimited resources. When you devote resources to one treatment, automatically you’re taking resources away from the others. You want to ensure that you’re putting your resources where you’ll get the most benefit. Some examples of non evidence based interventions are: biomedical interventions (chelation therapy, autism diets, supplements) or other treatments like swimming with dolphins or hyperbaric oxygen chambers.  While these treatments may have many glowing reviews look for peer-reviewed, double blind controlled studies to use as your base of information when determining if something is evidence based. 

Here is a list of evidence based interventions for you to consider with your child. 

Come back next week as I discuss if we should even be trying to cure autism. 

How and When To Tell a Child They’re Autistic

January 25, 2021

Many parents are unsure of when or how to tell a child they’re autistic. It can be a very sensitive subject and without some thought it can be tricky conversation to navigate. Crane, Lui and Davies (2021) recently published a study. It highlighted some important themes in having this discussion. 

Important themes when telling your child they’re autistic:

Theme 1: Having open and honest conversations about autism

The first theme highlighted in Crane, Lui and Davies (2021) was Normalizing the conversations about autism symptoms.  Parents reported that by having frequent and frank discussions about the way that their lives are affected were important in creating an open dialogue. Conversations that began when the child was young helped the child avoid having preconceived ideas about what autism is. This allowed them to have their own experience without being weighed down by the ideas of others. 

Family hugging after telling child they're autistic.

Theme 2: Creating a shared understanding

Many parents of autistics either have autism themselves or share some of the autistic traits.  Showing your child that you experience the same things that they do will create a shared understanding. This gives you some ‘street cred’ when suggesting strategies for your child. The parents also discussed that sharing their lived experiences helped them to understand each other and brought trust. 

Theme 3: Positively supporting the child’s differences

Many parents noted that they preferred to use difference as opposed to disorder when describing their child’s needs. They felt that this was less stigmatizing and easier for children to understand. Each person is different and that does not decrease their intrinsic value. Refocusing their child’s attention from their challenges to their strengths was also a common strategy among the parents surveyed. 

Theme 4: Adjusting the conversations to the specific child’s needs

Many of the parents that participated in the study noted that the conversations should be specific to the child’s lived experiences and not broad and sweeping. Parents should try to identify areas of interest and capitalize on that motivation. Some referenced having autistic role models as being extremely helpful for their children. 

When should you tell your child they are autistic?

There is no rule about when is the right time to tell your child about their diagnosis. It is important to take chronological age as well as developmental age into account when deciding if your child is ready. They need to understand the meaning of the words you’re using.  However, they might be giving you clues about their readiness. When your child begins asking questions like “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why can’t I ________”, “Why is this so hard for me but everyone else can do it?” or even “What’s wrong with everyone else?!” they’re likely ready to learn about their diagnosis. 

Time of day should also play a factor in your conversation. You want to make sure you’ve got enough time to answer all of your child’s questions. The conversation shouldn’t feel rushed or interrupted. Before school or at bedtime are not ideal times for this topic.

We’re here to help you if you’d like to talk about how to tell your child that they’re autistic. Connect with us for a no charge/no obligation consultation. You can also check out of Autism FAQ for some commonly asked questions.

The 5 Benefits of Outdoor Play

September 20, 2020

Read time: 2 minutes

With screens being stared at for hours a day by children, the benefits of outdoor play for children is being overlooked. Primary school should be a place where children can enhance the health of their minds, bodies, and emotions. Thankfully, an easy way to do this is to encourage outdoor play. There are a few practical ways to do so, such as ensuring playground design is engaging for children. We will focus on the benefits of playing outdoors, so you can see just how critical it is for their health and well-being.

Greater Physical Health

When children are running around, jumping, crawling, and handling physical objects, they are using and developing their motor skills. These are essential functions that can be greatly improved with outdoor play. Children walking a trail can get some aerobic exercise while enjoying the outdoors. When playground design is considered in terms of maximizing movement, children will burn more calories, which leads to strengthening their muscles and preventing childhood obesity. Also, they will get much-needed vitamin D, even if it’s a cloudy day.

Improves Behaviour and Social Skills

School is a place where children spend a large portion of their day. They interact with other children throughout the day, which helps develop their social skills. However, outdoor play helps shape their ability to communicate, cooperate, and organize effectively. Even at home, children can play with their siblings and friends outside in the yard, while inventing new games to play. All the practice taking turns, sharing, and developing lead to the cultivation of critical behavioural skills and is one of the benefits of outdoor play.

Increase Sensory Skills

Studies have found that children who play outside more have better long-range vision than those who are primarily indoors. The younger a child is, the more they learn through their senses. When a toddler walks down a trail, they will light up with joy when they spot a new animal or smell aromatic flowers. Jumping feet first into puddles is another favourite pastime of theirs. All of these expand, improve, and enhance their sensory skills. Your child may benefit from the input of an Occupational Therapist in the development of their sensory skills. The development of a child’s perceptual abilities is key to having excellent sensory skills.

Increase Attention Span

When children play outdoors, they become more curious about the world around them. They explore and roam according to where they want to go. These self-directed explorations lead to them having the ability to stay focused on a task for longer. Children who play outdoors in a self-directed way have more initiative to do things on their own. They are also more eager to participate in activities they have never done before. Studies have found that children who have had ADHD had seen a reduction in their symptoms after spending more time playing outdoors, in playgrounds, backyards, and other outdoor spaces.

Greater Happiness

All that running, jumping, and exploring generates endorphins, which uplift the moods of children. When there is an intricate playground design, it challenges children to exert more physical effort. This, combined with being exposed to light outdoors, improves the mood of children. Playing outdoors can be a wellspring of happiness for them.

Check out this list of parks in the GTA!

In Conclusion

These are some of the top benefits of outdoor play for children. As you can see, there are several reasons children should be encouraged to play outside. Their physical, mental, and emotional well-being will increase, while developing essential skills that will help them navigate the world they grow up in.

New diagnosis of autism? The most powerful things to do now.

August 2, 2020

Read time: 4 minutes

When your child get a diagnosis of autism, your world seems to dramatically change in the seconds before and after the words have been said. I have spoken with many parents who were simply not expecting the diagnosis when they went in for the assessment.  They had an image in their mind of a severely disabled person and that simply wasn’t the case for their child. 

What is the autism spectrum? 

Autism is a neurological (meaning it has to do with the brain) developmental disorder.  It affects how a child learns and develops in 3 main areas: social skills, communication skills and restrictive or repetitive behaviours.

Many people use the language ‘high functioning’ vs ‘low functioning’.  This can be very misleading. Many people think of the autism spectrum as being a linear spectrum. This representation doesn’t quite fit the autism spectrum, because there are three core symptoms of autism. There’s a newer way of conceptualizing it, that was created by Michael of 1autismdad.com in 2012. 

Imagine a blank sheet of paper with a dot in the middle.  This dot represents neurotypical development (non-asd). Near the top of the page in the middle imagine the words “communication deficits”, near the bottom left of the page imagine “social skills deficits” and on the bottom right corner imagine Stereotypic and repetitive behaviours. Each person with autism will develop needs in each of these areas differently.  You can visualize a person’s needs by how long the path is from the middle (neurotypical) to the core symptom. Some might be very impacted in the communication and social skills areas while they show very few (or none) stereotypic and repetitive behaviours. 

Autism triangle: a new way of thinking about the autism spectrum by asddad.com
Retrieved from: https://www.1autismdad.com/home/2012/03/14/visualizing-the-autism-spectrum on August 1, 2020

Top 5 things to do when your child get a diagnosis of autism: 

There are a number of resources that you can access when your child is first diagnosed.  Here are my to 5 recommendations of things to do: 

  1. Notice the small things – Your child might have difficulty with a lot of things, but try and pick out the things that your child excels at. You might need to be creative here, but it’s a good reframing exercise and will help you to focus on something positive instead of only the negative. 
  2. Reach out to others from the autism community.  There are a number of support groups on Facebook and other social media platforms.  You’ll find many people who understand exactly what you’re going through and who have been through it and survived.  It might take you a while to find your village, but once you do you’ll be so glad you spent the time to reach out. 
  3. Celebrate every victory. Learning something new might be very challenging for your child.  When they achieve a new milestone you should celebrate it loud and proud! 
  4. Create a self-care routine for yourself and your partner. You will feel compelled to spend every moment focused on your child’s therapy/friends/development. You must keep yourself healthy so you can be the best possible advocate for your child. Remember the flight attendant’s advice: always put your own oxygen mask on first.  You have to take care of yourself if you want to take care of others. 
  5. Create a team for your child.  There will be a lot of people in your child’s life: doctors, therapists, teachers, support workers and more.  You will need help to coordinate everything that needs to happen in order to set your child up for success. Find people you trust and who have values that align with your own.  

Don’t forget…

Your child is the same lovable, adorable, smart, deserving little person they were before they got a diagnosis of autism. There are times when the label is important and there are times when it is irrelevant. Try to think of the diagnosis as a path, that will lead you to treatments and strategies that will help your child. Also, having a diagnosis opens up doors for funding, supports and specialized programs.

Connect with Side by Side Therapy to discuss your options and what interventions would be best for your child and family. We offer no-charge and no obligation consultations to help guide you in making the right decisions for your child’s future.

Respite Services in Toronto: Top 10 Benefits

July 12, 2020

What is Respite in Toronto? 

Respite is caregiving for special needs children that allows a primary caregiver to have a break. Raising an autistic child is a multifaceted experience and even though it comes with many joys, there will be plenty of challenges. Parents might put their own needs aside, focusing on their child and their therapies. 

In taking care of a child who is on the autism spectrum, you might enter problem-solving mode and forget about yourself. Respite in Toronto might be something to consider, offering short-term relief from being the primary caregiver. Respite in Toronto is more than babysitting.  A trained caregiver with experience in your child’s specific needs will be there to support your child (and you!). What are some of the benefits associated with Respite in Toronto? Keep on reading and find out!

During a Respite in Toronto session, young boy plays in nature with a respite worker from Side by Side Therapy.

How will you benefit from Respite?

#1 A reduced level of stress

Parents of autistic children report significant levels of stress, which in turn affects both their physical and emotional health. Respite gives one the opportunity to take a break, without guilt, from the pressure of it all. 

#2 Feeling less frustrated

There will be many moments in which you will feel proud of your child but there will also be situations when things seem to be stuck. Frustration can build up, leading to anger, resentment and hopelessness. Respite relieves such feelings, contributing to improved well-being. 

#3 Time to socialize

Autistic children have packed schedules – therapy, school, play dates, to name a few! These activities leave parents unable to spend quality time with others that they love. By opting for respite in Toronto, you will finally have some free time to check in on and hang out with your family and friends. There are plenty of fun activities that you can do while your child is receiving respite!

#4 A healthier relationship with your child

Spending all of your time with a child who has many specific and oftentimes intense needs can be draining. Dealing with tantrums, refusals or meltdowns, you might lose sight of your child’s positive traits. Some time away will allow you to see your child with fresh eyes, reminding you of the things that matter.

#5 Interaction with other people (for the child)

An autistic child’s circle of people is often limited to family, a few friends and the teachers and therapists that they have. In choosing to participate in Respite in Toronto, you will also offer the child a chance to interact with new people in a new setting. This might be hard (for each of you) at first but it will be a great opportunity for your child. 

A young child plays with bubbles during a Respite in Toronto session with Side by Side Therapy

#6 Free time (for you!)

We all love our children and we want the best for them. It’s only natural when given a diagnosis of autism, however, we might naturally put ourselves in second place and dedicate every minute to the child’s development. Respite gives one the opportunity to pursue personal interests, without feeling guilty. 

#7 A break from the daily routine 

Respite can help both the parent and the child to get a break from the daily routine. Children might be taken to the park or other activities while parents can do whatever they wish. Some parents use respite to get errands done, do something social or just sleep! They can recharge their batteries, looking after themselves for a change.

#8 A different perspective

Sometimes, the therapies chosen for autistic children do not offer the expected results. A plateau might occur in the therapy process causing disappointment and stress. When you opt for respite you get the time and distance you need to get a fresh perspective. 

#9 Involving the child in new activities

Even if you have planned your child’s schedule to the last detail, there will still be a lot of activities and opportunities that you haven’t thought of. By accessing respite services, such as the ones we offer at Side by Side Therapy, you can involve your child in new things and help him discover rewarding experiences. 

#10 Preservation of your identity

As the parent of an autistic child, you might have forgotten about who you are apart from your child. The person who you used to be. The things that give you purpose. This is why you should take advantage of the break offered by respite in Toronto, using the time to do some self-care. 

Looking for respite in Toronto? We are glad to help. Connect with Side by Side Therapy and we will make an appointment for a 30 minute no-charge consultation, so we can discuss respite and other therapeutic solutions. The province of Ontario will provide funding for families to access services.  Read more about respite funding here.

Parents often feel guilty for needing time away from their children. There’s no reason to feel guilty. You can use the time to do the things you love, get a fresh perspective on things and meet your friends and family. As for your child, he benefits from excellent care, discovering new people and activities. It is a win-win!

Top 7 Effective Speech Therapy in Toronto Strategies to Try With Your Children

June 7, 2020

Read time: 5 minutes

Parents are often the first ones to notice that their child isn’t developing, especially in terms of communication. The lack of infant babble, the absence of eye contact and reduced interest in interaction are just a few of the features that cause one to question a potential diagnosis of autism. It is possible and often practical to begin speech therapy in Toronto before a formal diagnosis is given.

Mother and child sharing a tender moment before speech therapy in Toronto.

Autistic children might also present a limited range of facial expressions, being unable to comprehend language or show a regression (loss of words). The sooner Speech Therapy in Toronto is started, the better the outcomes are going to be. In this article, you will find a number of therapeutic strategies which might be of help. 

Speech Therapy in Toronto Strategies:

#1 Using non-verbal communication 

Interestingly, non-verbal communication accounts for 90% of all communication. Our body language, the gestures we make, along with eye contact, help us interact with other people and communicate our needs. 

A good strategy is teaching the child, through imitation, gestures that can be used daily. You can begin with gestures that are easy to imitate such as: clapping the hands, waving, stomping feet or raising arms in the air. 

#2 Oral Motor Exercises

For children who exhibit few or no facial expressions, this strategy might be quite useful. Performed regularly, it can strengthen the oral muscles, especially the ones around the mouth and jaw. 

The exercises can be practiced with a  mirror, so your child is able to see what their face looks like when they make the specific movements.  You can get some ideas of exercises from this Youtube Channel: Speech Therapy Practice. They have a series of different videos depicting different exercises you can try with your child. 

#3 Animal noises 

A fun beginning step to teach vocal speech might be to try and have the child make animal noises, especially if the child is motivated by animals. Capitalizing on this motivation might be helpful in engaging your child in doing the difficult work of learning to make the sounds. 

Various toys or books can be used to introduce the child to animal sounds. As his/her interest becomes visible, you can move to more complex games – perhaps you can create a toy barn or an animal train, having fun in the process. Be patient and have fun. 

#4 Singing songs

Very few children dislike music. Singing can help the child to learn new vocabulary, rhythm and even new topics or ideas.  

In choosing songs, it is important to take into account not only the current communication abilities of your child, but also their cognitive level. Nursery rhymes are a great place to start for younger children but older children can be introduced to all kinds of music. 

#5 Technology as basis for communication

We are lucky to live in an age where technology is advanced, creating opportunities for us to help autistic children communicate. Augmentative and alternative communication represents an option for children with limited or no functional speech, allowing them to communicate desires, needs, preferences, dislikes and comment. 

There are devices that contain recorded messages, which the child can use with the push of a button. As progress is made, these messages can become more complex. A low tech alternative is a picture exchange communication system.  You can read more about Alternative and Augmentative Communication in this blog I wrote at the end of April. 

#6 Learning how to sequence and tell a story

This is a strategy which is generally used in children with more advanced receptive language, allowing them to continue to develop their language. You would present them with images of the parts of a story, and ask them to put them in order.

For example, you might provide a picture of an empty glass with a carton of milk beside it, another picture with a full glass of milk and a third picture with half the glass of milk drank by a child in the picture. 

In opting for this activity, you would choose to begin by presenting the stories or situations that your child has experienced. This makes it more concrete and is easier for the child. In time, he/she can do this activity alone, or even draw his/her own pictures to tell a story. Many children enjoy ‘authoring’ their own stories. 

#7 Pretend play

Pretend play is a difficult skill for an autistic child to achieve but, with perseverance, it will help improve many aspects of the child’s development. On the plus side, it helps with social interaction, reinforcing communication again and again. 

The strategy would be to choose some of the child’s favorite activities, expanding on their existing sounds, words or sentences. Once you’ve identified what your child is doing naturally, you want to encourage the next step.

For example, if your child is building towers with blocks, you might begin labeling the colours of the blocks or dividing the blocks into colour groups to make red buildings and blue buildings.  You could also create a road (by laying the blocks side by side instead of on top of each other) to expand their play. 

With expanded play comes the opportunity for you to model expanded language use. The more you speak to the child, the more likely it will be for new words to appear in his/her vocabulary. 

These are some of the strategies that might be used in promoting speech and language development in autistic children. We offer speech therapy in Toronto, as well as a number of other useful therapies: Applied Behaviour Analysis, Occupational Therapy and Recreation Therapy – do not hesitate to contact us for a no charge consultation.

ABA in Toronto: 9 Life-Changing Benefits for Autistic Children

May 30, 2020

Read time: 3 minutes

ABA stands for applied behaviour analysis. It is a form of therapy based on the sciences of behaviour and learning. In some, it will lead to remarkable progress, helping them acquire an important number of skills. ABA is the most widely studied and most effective therapy for autism and related developmental disorders. 

Why should you consider ABA in Toronto for your child?

We have gathered nine of the most important reasons why one could benefit from this type of therapy. ABA in Toronto focuses on teaching socially significant behaviours, meaning behaviours that have a high probability of being important and pivotal to the child and family. 

Boy with autism playing with toys during ABA in Toronto


#1 Play

Autistic children often play in a stereotypical manner, engaging in repetitive behaviours. Through ABA in Toronto, they can be taught how to engage in spontaneous play, using a wide range of toys and learning to take turns. 

The therapist might facilitate the learning experience, prompting the child with the appropriate behavior. The therapist can also teach leisure skills, helping one develop a hobby, or an interest for personal enjoyment. 

Girls playing together learning social skills in ABA in Toronto


#2 Social Skills 

If a child already has good language skills, ABA in Toronto would be useful in teaching the necessary social skills for making friends. The more one practices social situations, the easier it will be to interact with peers in real life. 

ABA in Toronto can help the child develop additional skills (i.e: sharing, turn-taking, rule following etc) which might be useful for daily interaction with other children. These skills are addressed using structured play dates, social games and role play, among other strategies. 

Boy learning to brush his teeth in ABA in Toronto


#3 Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) 

For an autistic child, going through the normal routine can be challenging. In ABA in Toronto, he or she can learn and practice the tasks associated with the routine, including dressing and feeding. 

In teaching how ADLs should be performed, the therapist will take into account the child’s gross and fine motor skills, as well as their cognitive and speech skill levels. At-home practicing can help to jumpstart generalization and maintenance. 

Boy demonstrating independence learned in ABA in Toronto


#4 Independence

A big part of ABA in Toronto involves helping the child communicate more effectively. As the language skills develop, it will be less challenging to interact with peers. 

The child will learn how to handle situations by him/herself, developing the necessary confidence for more complex tasks and to be more independent. Positive reinforcement is used to foster skills, so that the child is less reliant on his parent or caregiver. 

Alphabet toy laid out in ABA in Toronto session


#5 Academics

Autistic children can struggle from an academic point of view, requiring help in that learning as well. ABA in Toronto can help develop reading and writing skills, as well as mathematical abilities.

The strategies used in therapy can and should be implemented not only at home but also in the classroom. Many classrooms are built on a foundation of ABA, without even intending to be. Most good teachers utilize the principles of ABA (even if they don’t call it ABA). 

Cartoon of boy saying "I need", self-advocacy skill learned in ABA in Toronto


#6 Self-Advocacy 

All children grow and become adults. As the child advances in age, ABA in Toronto will be useful in teaching self-advocacy – it will teach the child to speak up for him/herself, asking for what s/he needs. All children need to learn to become self-advocates.

Even in non-verbal children, ABA therapy can teach the child how to communicate immediate needs, preferences and how to protest and stop undesired situations. 

Girl with autism sitting on ground after ABA in Toronto session


#7 Quality of Life

As mentioned at the beginning, ABA in Toronto aims to improve socially significant behaviour. All of the things that the child will learn in therapy will contribute to a better overall quality of life. Even though the days might seem long and the therapy sessions will require a lot of dedication, in the end, you will have a child who likes his/her life. 

By fostering independence, language and social interaction, just to name a few, ABA empowers the child and his/her family. 

Parent learning with son during ABA in Toronto therapy session


#8 Parent Involvement and Learning

As a parent, it is normal to want your child to reach his/her full potential. In autistic children this path to reaching full potential can seem impossible. ABA can help parents benefit from a positive change in themselves, teaching them the skills needed to fight for their children. 

Taking part in therapy sessions, you will learn how to help your child develop useful skills and assess the progress he/she has made. The therapist can also guide the at-home teaching process. 

Parents looking happily at their child after ABA in Toronto therapy session


#9 Renewed Optimism

Sometimes, parents have a hard time seeing the strengths of their autistic child, as they rather concentrate only on the challenges their children face. ABA can help to highlight these strengths and transform them into learning opportunities. You will see your child being successful in ABA in Toronto and it will give you a new lens with which to view your child. 

During the ABA therapy sessions, you might also learn what motivates your child, allowing you to use these preferences later on to teach or maintain skills outside of a therapy session. 

If you are looking for ABA in Toronto, we recommend you connect with us. We can talk more about the services we offer and schedule a no charge consultation to assess your child’s needs. Looking forward to hearing from you!

The Value of Using Autism Therapy in Toronto for Support with an Autism Diagnosis

May 24, 2020

Read Time: 5 minutes

Finding out that your child has autism is probably one of the most difficult things in the world for a parent. You might go through a period of denial, believing that there has been a mistake. Then you might have a period of grief and loss, thinking about the way things would have been. You might cry about the loss of  your “healthy” child, feeling all sorts of negative emotions. Using the resources available from autism therapy in Toronto can help you right from diagnosis.

Accepting your autistic child as he/she is can be a liberating experience. The moment you stop fighting the diagnosis of autism, you will be in a better place to support your child’s needs. By embracing his/her uniqueness, you will be better able to make decisions and pursue the strategies and supports that your child requires.  

Mom hugging autistic son after discovering autism therapy in Toronto.

Embracing the atypical 

Do you love your child less because he/she is on the autism spectrum? The answer is clearly no. But parents are human beings nonetheless and they tend to turn into saviors, wanting for their autistic children to be “typical”. 

In truth, your child needs to be loved, first and foremost. You have to embrace the atypical and be accepting of who he/she is. Remember that you are your child’s greatest advocate. Acceptance is a gradual process and one that will help you fight for your child. 

Why is denial the first response?

In a beautifully written piece for The Autism Society, Dr. Robert Naseef says: “Acceptance is not about giving up or resignation, but rather learning to live with something that is hard to face.”

You received the diagnosis, but, deep down, you likely already knew something was not right. There are few parents who can accept this diagnosis and think about solutions on the spot. Most parents automatically go to denial as a first response – this is a defence mechanism, one that we have selected to keep pain at a distance. 

Even if your child has been confirmed to be on the autism spectrum, he/she is still your child. And you should try and see the diagnosis as the start of a journey, the one toward helping your little one achieve his/her maximum potential. Accessing autism therapy in Toronto is one way to help them.

Instead of fighting the diagnosis, it is best to accept it and learn how to live with it. Let go of the things you imagined and celebrate your child, and his/her abilities. The diagnosis will only help you cater more effectively to his/her needs and provide the needed support. A diagnosis can also help you access provincial funding for autism therapy in Toronto. You will have a happy child as a result and feel less stressed in your parenting. 

Autism is neither good nor bad

Are you familiar with the concept of radical acceptance? It refers to accepting something as it is, without fighting it. Acceptance is the first step to creating a plan. You have to acknowledge that something has to be done before you can create a plan to tackle it. When it comes to autism, this concept can be very freeing and can help you advocate for your child. Autism is neither good nor bad, and it is certainly not the only defining characteristic that your child has. 

Therapeutic solutions, such as autism therapy in Toronto, can help your child learn new skills and achieve new levels of potential. At home, you will have to work with him/her as well but make sure that you leave plenty of time for fun. Spontaneous play, led by your child, can be of tremendous importance. Do not insist for typical play, as this can only cause frustration. Follow your child’s lead and interests. 

Do not send the “you are broken” message

Even if an autistic child is non-verbal, you have to pay attention to your words and to your gestures. If you are constantly pushing for normality, you are sending a message that they are somehow “broken” or “damaged”. While it is not possible to separate autism from the child, you have to refrain from seeing your child exclusively from that autistic perspective. 

Challenge yourself to accept your child, with the good and the bad. Try not to see your child’s skill deficits as permanent, there is always something to be learned or a way to improve a skill or situation.  Use their needs as a jumping off point for new learning and skill development.   

A message to take home about autism therapy in Toronto

There will be plenty of moments when you will feel challenged, wanting things to be ‘normal’. In those difficult situations, remind yourself that autistic children are, first and foremost, children. And like all children, they need our love to thrive. 

Stop thinking about the things that are “missing” and embrace the child you have. Celebrate each small success and avoid comparing your child with others. With the help of a team of therapists, create a personalized plan using all the avenues available at autism therapy in Toronto, making sure that you are actively involved in the therapy process. You have the insight into what is important to your child and family and should feel comfortable to direct the therapy team towards achieving those goals. 

Contact Side by Side Therapy to have a no-charge 30 minute consultation to discuss the best options for your child.

Autism Parenting: What does an autistic child need? A confident parent!

May 3, 2020
Watch this video for a quick synopsis of this blog!
Family of four, a man and a woman and a son and a daughter. The daughter appears to have autism.

Confidence is not a parenting skill parents are born with, but rather a skill that is learned over time. Being the parent of a child with autism can challenge our confidence, but you must understand that this skill is vital in helping your children live better lives. 

When you show your children that you are confident, as parents, you make them feel safe. Each child needs to feel that their parents can help them express themselves and handle everything thrown in their direction. 

The diagnosis of autism, of course, will change your life and the way you will parent. But it will also give you added motivation to fight for your child and the life he/she deserves to live. You will not always have the answers and there will be plenty of times when you will have to show yourself as confident, despite feeling lost, confused or scared. 

How do you become a more confident autism parent? 

We have a couple of suggestions for you. The message to take home is: confidence is not necessarily always having a response to a certain situation. It is more about being there for your child, no matter what, and especially when he/she is having a hard time. 

Positive thinking 

Even though this is not necessarily an autism parenting secret, it is something we often forget. Living with autism, and the sometimes difficult behaviours presented by a child with this diagnosis, it is easy for parents to fall into a path of negative thinking and lose confidence along the way.

Positive thinking, on the other hand, can help you to become more confident in your skills and your parenting abilities. It can be useful when it comes to the way you respond to challenging situations.

You are not a bad parent

Every parent has been there. You felt inadequate, believing that your children deserve better parents. Just because your child has autism, does not mean you are a bad parent. 

Whenever you feel terrible, like you have failed your child, remember this – children need love above all else. They need us to be present and show them how to live in a world that seems foreign. 

Do not be afraid to ask for help

If you feel like your confidence has been shattered, it is time to get help. This can come from a family member, a friend or even a mental health professional. You might find help in joining an autism parent support group. Your child most likely benefits from therapy, so you should not hesitate to use this form of support as well. Respite might represent an option for you, so that you can have some time for yourself. In time, you will become a more confident parent, one who is calm and supportive of his/her child. 

Don’t bend to peer pressure

Autistic children have meltdowns and tantrums, and these often take place in public. If possible, try to go home or choose a private place to help your child calm down. Do not allow others to dictate what you should do, and keep in mind that getting the child out of the respective environment will be quite useful. All children have tantrums, and it just happens that it’s your child’s turn today.  Many parents are kind and empathetic in these situations, so just ignore the ones who aren’t!

Be present

A lot of parents make the mistake of thinking that they must always find a solution to a potential challenging situation the child is going through. Sometimes, this only adds pressure, causing your confidence to go down. 

Instead of forcing yourself to come up with an answer, try to be there for your child. Do not let your confidence suffer, but rather offer your physical presence and this should be enough. Help your child calm down by being calm yourself. 

Control your emotions

It goes without saying that no two children are the same, especially when  they are autistic. Anger can only damage your confidence, since it will cause you to feel out of control. If the situation seems impossible to handle, it might be best to take a step back. Always try to acknowledge your emotions, but without giving into them. 

Conclusion

What does an autistic child need? A confident parent! It might take time and you will make plenty of mistakes along the way, but you need to work on becoming more self-reliant. The bolder you are, the easier it will be to become the advocate your child needs for a better life.

World Autism Awareness Day: April 2, 2020

April 2, 2020
Add Your Voice to the Giant Autism Billboard for World Autism Awareness Day
Add Your Voice to the Giant Autism Billboard for World Autism Awareness Day

World Autism Awareness Day is today, which means it’s a great time to contribute to the Giant Autism Billboard (see it here). It’s a thought-provoking project centred around the importance of autism awareness, and it stems from the belief that the sharing of lived experiences is a great way to help others gain a better understanding of neurodiversity.

The Giant Autism Billboard, an online collaboration that invites autistic people of all ages as well as their family members, caretakers, and doctors to condense their life experience and advice about autism into one pearl of wisdom to share with the world, the idea, thought, or message they most feel represents their experience. Finding a way to distill life with neurodiversity into one statement is no mean feat, but it has inspired many voices throughout the autism community to offer their unique input.

Autism Awareness Day is only a starting point

The large collaborative project serves to illustrate an idea that’s central to autism awareness, which is that no two neurodiverse people are alike and no one’s experience with autism is exactly the same. This helps to create an understanding of autism as a spectrum of behavioural differences which are experienced uniquely, defying negative stereotypes and embracing the idea that neurodiversity can bring skills in addition to challenges. The project celebrates the voices of those affected, acknowledging that they are most able to provide true autism awareness and amplifying their voices to contribute to the cause.

The Giant Autism Billboard will be featured on the We The Parents website during the month of April, which has been designated as World Autism Awareness month. The site was founded in 2017 by parents Neve and Keane as a welcoming, judgement-free resource which parents can look to for advice, and takes special interest in supporting families affected by autism.            

I have contributed and I hope that you will as well.

Lindsey

Autism: How to have great transitions – Part 2

March 23, 2020

Read time: 3 minutes

This post continues from the last post about autism and transitions. To recap: transitions happen any time you end one activity and begin another. Transitions can be big (graduating high school and starting to work) or small (ending an episode of your favourite tv show and watching something else). Transitions are often difficult for autistic kids because of the way that they are impacted by the core symptoms of autism spectrum disorder (communication, social skills and restrictive and repetitive behaviours). These core symptoms can negatively impact how easy it is for a child to transition.

The first 5 tips that were listed in the previous post are:

  1. Talk about and prepare for transitions before they happen.
  2. Give warnings about upcoming transitions.
  3. Use countdowns.
  4. Create visual schedules.
  5. Give options to increase feelings of control.

Here are the last 6 tips to help those with autism transition:

Kids with autism sitting in a group at school. All smiling with hands raised to answer a question.
  1. Use Natural Breaks – Using natural breaks is one method that can ease transitions naturally for those with autism.  For instance, if your child is playing with a puzzle, upon completion it would then be an appropriate and ideal time to move into a transition. Since the activity had an end point, this allows the child to feel closure and more willingness to move onto the next event. 
Child with autism playing with dinosaurs.
  1. Likes and Interests – As transitions can be daunting, especially transitions that are not preferred by your child, it is helpful to try and make the transition fun or exciting.  This playful and creative method can alleviate some of the associated stressors through distracting your child with games/activities that they enjoy. Let’s say you need to go on a long drive, and you know being in the car for long periods is a trigger for your child, try playing “I spy”. Or, how about if getting to school in the morning is a challenge try hopping on one foot all the way there. Use your imagination!  
Child with autism and parent talking.
  1. Objects or Songs – Using a physical object can help your child with autism in understanding a transition. Have your child grab their towel before bath-time, this will then alert and prepare them for the upcoming transition. Transition objects offer a visible reminder for your child to help recognize an approaching transition.   Songs can also offer concrete cues for the upcoming change such as singing or creating a bedtime song. Once the child hears or sings the song, they will then associate it with their bedtime. You can also have your child keep a favourite coping tool on hand, perhaps their special stuffed animal or blanket.       
Child with autism smiling, a closeup.
  1. Use Appropriate Forms of Rewards – Using a reward system is a very effective tool when dealing with transitions. By arranging a plan with your child prior to an event/transition with the understanding of what can be earned is a great motivator. It is important to be able to differentiate between a reward and a bribe.  Where a reward can have positive effects, a bribe can have the opposite outcome. For instance, if you plan to go out grocery shopping and agree to a reward of a chocolate bar should your child behave as expected then a reward is in play. However, if you go out to the store without an agreement  and your child has a meltdown because they want a chocolate bar, when you give in to this behaviour and buy them the chocolate, it is actually a bribe. Therefore, ensure you are making the distinction between rewards and bribes to ensure you’re using this transition tool effectively.

Additionally, rewards can be earned through using a First/Then Chart (or first/then language) which is a tool that visually explains what activity needs to “first” be done in order to “then” receive or do something the child may want.  For instance, if you have trouble getting your child to brush their teeth, you can say, ‘first’ we brush our teeth and ‘then’ we can read a book. With this sense of involvement and essentially partial control usually will lead the child to participate unknowingly.  

A sand timer, used in autism treatment to visually represent the time for a student.
  1. Slow down – As discussed, there can be numerous transitions in a day, and you may find that too many transitions are just too difficult for those with autism. It may be for the benefit of the parent, childcare worker, teacher and especially the child to slow down and even eliminate some transitions. Not every transition is necessary.  Find the transitions that can be cut out and structure your child’s day for maximum success. 
Parent or therapist doing a yoga routine with a child with autism.
  1. Deep Breathing / Calming Strategies – Deep breathing and calming strategies are not only important for children, but they are also useful for parents, caregivers and teachers alike. In learning how to use breathing and other calming strategies one is better able to self-regulation thus helping ease the anxiety surrounding the transition. In trying to teach your child deep breathing, it is helpful to have your child start with blowing bubbles and after practice, they should have a good grasp of the breathing action. Keeping bubbles on hand can help during times of need and once the action is mastered it is a calming mechanism that can then be used anytime and anywhere. 

Your child must realize that transitions are not punishments and should therefore not be associated as such. Instead, your child should understand these are necessary throughout the day in order to follow the daily schedule. Having the parent, caregiver or teacher show excitement in moving through transitions may help in easing your child’s anxiety and difficulties. With your enthusiasm alongside your well thought out plan and tons of praise and encouragement, you will see changes in your child’s ability to transition smoothly. Be aware though, there may need to be frequent tweaks to your plan and schedules as this ensures the best modifications are being made.

In keeping in mind the many factors that contribute to your child’s difficulties with transitions and maintaining flexibility and open-mindedness you will help in easing their transition and in turn, set them up for success.

Autism: How to have great transitions – Part 1

March 16, 2020

Read time: 4 minutes


This post is quite long, so it will be divided into two parts for your reading pleasure!

Toddler with autism smiling looking directly at the camera.

Transitions happen many times throughout our day and for the most part, as adults, we don’t necessarily even realize how often. While these transitions may not seem noticeable or bothersome to us, they are in fact quite difficult for most children and especially for those with autism spectrum disorder.

Being able to effectively transition between activities in our daily routines is imperative to leading a successful life: at home, school or at a job. Transitions include any change, big or small, such as a change of activity (especially from a fun one to a less enjoyable one), environment or teacher.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) influences the way children process and interact within their environment and presents communication challenges, sensory issues and deficits in social skills.  All these challenges have an impact on the child’s ability to smoothly make transitions. It can be difficult for autism spectrum disorder children to shift attention or change from the comfort of their routine. These difficulties and stressors can lead a child to experience agitation, sadness or anger.  

All of these concerns need to be considered and addressed in order to help your autism spectrum disorder child thrive. The first step in dealing with transitions is dealing with the associated worry around transitions. Understanding how your child’s autism spectrum disorder is impacting their transitional issues, sensory sensitivities and concerns combined with creating a plan will better help your child to manage their worry connected to transitions.

Being prepared and well equipped to assist your child with autism before, during and following transitions is the absolute greatest support you can provide them. 

When strategies are used to help autism spectrum disorder children with transitions you can expect: a reduction in transition times; behaviours will improve during transitions; there will be less need for adult reminders and participation in school and community excursions will become easier.

Sometimes, creating a plan for your autistic child can feel like you’re trying to solve a calculus equation.

In the preparation of your plan, it is important to understand what transitional issues you are dealing with, including your child’s sensory needs.  By observing your child for 3 – 5 days and jotting down each time your child gets frustrated or angered you will have a better understanding of what is going on. This review should include identifying the patterns and triggers that led up to the problems transitioning.

For instance, does your child not like being interrupted to move onto the next activity if they are still working on the present one?  Do line-ups and busy hallways at school make it difficult for your child? Is there sensory stimulation such as bright lights or cold temperatures that may impact them and therefore affect the transition? Once you have identified the transitional issues then you can move towards creating a plan to account for these barriers. 

Transitional strategies are methods that can help autistic individuals manage during times of change or disruption in activities, routines or situations. As challenges can exist at any point during the transition, it is helpful to go over the techniques before, during and after a transition. This preparation strategy can (and probably should) be explained verbally and/or visually with the hopes of increasing predictability and maintaining consistency in their routine. 

Your child must realize that transitions are not punishments and should therefore not be thought of as such. Instead, your child should understand that they are required throughout the day in order to follow the daily schedule. Having the parent, caregiver or teacher show excitement in moving through transitions may help in easing your child’s worry and the challenging behaviour they exhibit. With your enthusiasm alongside your well thought out plan and tons of praise and encouragement, in time, you will see changes that are heading in the right direction. 

11 Tips to Help Those with Autism Transition

Here are 11 useful tips and strategies to use in the development of your plan; they are the stepping stones to helping ease your autism spectrum disorder child’s transitions:

  1. Prepare & Talk About Transitions – To help in ensuring a smooth transition, it is useful to plan out and discuss the plan with your child and support them before, during and after the transition. It is easier to deal with and manage your behaviour when you know what to expect. For instance, if you know you only have an hour at the zoo, then you should discuss this with your child prior to arriving. Knowledge is power and if your child knows what to expect the element of surprise will be removed and this will likely help with the transition. 
  1. Time Warnings – Providing time warnings prior to a transition is quite helpful.  This allows the child to be aware that a transition is coming up shortly and can then better prepare themselves. Therefore, half an hour before the change of an event you can start to give 30, 15, and 5-minute warnings. As these verbal warnings may be too abstract for some autism spectrum disorder children, especially when time-telling is not yet learned, it is suggested to use a concrete tool such as a clock or a timer that can visually help to alert your child of the upcoming transition.  This visual tool can be reassuring during an unenjoyable activity as it shows the child that there is an end in sight. 
  1. Countdowns – To go alongside the time warning strategy, it is also helpful to give final countdown notice.  So, instead of expecting your child to move right into the next transition once the final 5 minutes have finished, giving them a 10-second further countdown will continue to help with the transition.  Even though you may have provided the time warning, which may seem enough, the transition may still seem sudden to a child with difficulty transitioning. Adding in the additional and final 10-second countdown will certainly make your expectations clear. If visual tools are more effective then you can show your child a visual that has a countdown from 10-1. As you’re counting down you remove the numbers until your visual is empty and your child knows that the transition is imminent. This final countdown method can also be useful when doing unfavourable tasks such as cutting nails, bathing or brushing teeth as the child will know the end is near which helps with their coping.
Picture from
Pocket of Preschool
  1. Create Visual Schedules – A visual schedule is a very useful tool when managing transitions. The schedule helps to reinforce the predictability that your child requires alongside outlining the events in a way that your child can review throughout the day. As autistic children often thrive with routine and consistency this visual method helps them see things in a format that they can clearly understand and remember especially if out of the ordinary things are going to happen. Being able to understand what the schedule holds can create opportunities for the empowerment of your child as they may be able to move through the transition on their own without coaching or reminding. 
  1. Offer Options – Just like adults, children like choices. Having options gives them a feeling of empowerment and control. Therefore, offering two realistic choices allows your child to feel part of the decision.  For instance, when getting ready to leave the park you can ask would your child prefer to play on the slide or the swings in their last 5 minutes at the park. Achoice can be as simple as asking would they rather skip or walk to the washroom.  It is surprising how willing children are to participate when choices are offered.

Come back next week to read the second part!

Autistic People or People with Autism: 2 Completely Opposing Perspectives

March 4, 2020

Read time: 5 minutes

The subject of language is such an important factor in shaping the way we look at and interact with society. The connotations and assumptions that have been learned with language have moulded (intentionally or unintentionally) our perspectives and outlook. 

These learned assumptions play a large part in influencing our way of understanding and looking at things and sadly, at times, one’s outlook can be detrimental to others. Stereotypes and labels, unfortunately, are often a misrepresentation of what some believe to be the truth and regrettably place barriers before those they view as ‘different’ or as ‘other’. We view difference as being bad. However, what does different mean and who decided this?   

Autistic community targeted as different

When speaking on difference, the autistic community has struggled with being labelled and stereotyped as ‘different’. You can read about autism spectrum disorder here. If we, as a society, could change our perspectives and look at autistic people not as ‘different’ or as an ‘other’, but instead see that in a lot of cases, the difference simply lies in their approach to how they cope in and interact with society. This shift in thinking could truly offer this community the respect and acceptance they deserve.  

Couple arguing about whether to use person first or identify first language, meaning whether to say person with autism or autistic person.

To that note, there has been much debate and controversy surrounding the appropriate choice of language used when identifying or communicating with an autistic person.  This debate is focused on identity-first language (“autistic person”) versus person-first language (“person with autism”). Now, you may look at the above two forms of language and think these nuisances are based on semantics, however, if you look to understand and break it down the difference is not only important but rather quite clear. 

The concepts are:

  • Identity-first language which is the preferential choice of language for those within the autistic community. It is their preference for the use of words such as “Autistic” or “Autistic person” when being addressed, spoken or identified with. Since we know that autism is an inherent part of a person’s identity, it is believed that identity should be recognized first. The person cannot break away from autism. Therefore, from this perspective, identity-first language is a choice for empowerment, shared community beliefs, culture and identity.  It speaks to the fact that being autistic is nothing to be ashamed of and differences are to be respected and celebrated not criticized.

Versus

  • Person-first language has been adopted by parents, caretakers and professionals of autistic people and they use terminology such as “person with autism”. This viewpoint explains in essence, that person-first language puts the person before the disability or the condition and focuses on the merits and worth of the individual by accepting them as a person instead of a condition. This outlook taken on by caretakers, family members and professionals are based on the idea that they do not consider autism to be part of the child’s identity and therefore don’t want them to be labelled as such.      

The controversy, therefore, surrounding the use of person-first language as recognized by many within the autistic community, is that it suggests that a person can be separated from autism.  Autism is a neurological, developmental condition that’s considered a disorder with disabling effects. It is lifelong and does not on its own cause harm or death such as another disease might (such as measles… but don’t get my started on vaccine safety).

Diseases, unlike autism, are often labelled through the use of “with”, such as, “person with cancer”. Autism, on the other hand, is part of a person’s individuality and make-up which shapes a person’s way of understanding the world and interacting in it. In labelling autistic people in the same way you would someone with a disease puts autism as inherently bad just like a disease, which clearly could not be further from the truth.

Consequently, this is why those within the autistic community are fighting to change this use of language to a more identity focused instead of disability focused point of view. Is it too far-fetched for us to respect the wishes of those to whom we are referring  and who can, in fact, speak on real-life experience and their identity? 

By understanding the differences and connotations associated with language and its use, alongside, respecting the wishes of those that identify as autistic is crucial. When in doubt of which language should be used while engaging with the community it is best to check amongst the group and its members. If you are still unclear, then I recommend you reach out and ask. 

In my writing, I will use identity- first language, unless I am asked to do otherwise by my collaborators or the person I am writing about. This goes against my training and habits, but I want to honour the voices and opinions of the autistics who have shared their wishes with us.

Remember, language is important and impactful in so many ways and can, unfortunately, have harmful consequences if used inappropriately.  For this reason, we need to recognize the way in which we choose to use language and continue to be cognizant of its outcome, always. 

Autism Home Safety: 11 Useful Strategies

February 19, 2020

Read time: 5 minutes

“I just turned away for a second, he was right here!”, have said many parents in a panic when noticing their child was not in eyesight. This panic luckily is often only momentary, as the child usually reappears quickly. However, wandering by children, especially for children with autism spectrum disorder, can be frequent and for the parent/caretaker this can be frightening. 

Wandering is one of the top safety concerns facing a child with autism spectrum disorder, however, it is not the only concern to keep in mind and prepare for. Creating a plan can be overwhelming and finding a starting point may be difficult. In hopes of helping, I have provided some useful ways to assist in your planning to keep your child safe, especially within your home. 

Safety first road sign for children with autism.

Safety within the Home for Children with Autism

The home can become a dangerous place for children, especially those with autism, who face greater challenges around safety, awareness of surroundings and impulsivity. Parents put security and precautionary measures in place when all children are young but it is necessary to maintain these measures longer when their child has autism. Here are some things to keep in mind when you are creating your safety plan. 

  •  Household Toxins – Cleaning products and related hazardous materials must be locked away in a secure place.  As children are very crafty and persistent, it may be useful to lock the unsafe items in the garage, basement or any other area outside of the main living areas. 
  • Furniture – Top-heavy furniture and large electronics should be secured to the wall with brackets and straps.  Toppling furniture from climbing children is extremely dangerous and can easily occur if these heavy items have not been secured properly. 
  • Drowning – If you or a neighbour has a swimming pool, it is necessary to ensure that drowning prevention measures have been put into place.  As mentioned, with wandering being such a high concern, if a neighbour has a pool within close proximity to your home, you must communicate your concerns to your neighbours regarding the safety of your child and ask that the safety measures are put in place at their home. 
  • Some safety measures include:
    • Fences with self-closing latches
    • Keeping interesting toys/items out of eyesight to not draw the child’s attention to the dangerous area.
    • Enrolling your child in swimming and water safety lessons (if possible).
  • All municipalities have bylaws with regards to swimming pools in people’s backyards.  Research what the laws are where you live to ensure that your pool (or your neighbour’s pool) is following the law. 
  • Fire – Fire safety is of the utmost importance and needs to be practiced with the whole family.  As this training includes your child with autism, you may need to modify and tweak your plan to work with any additional needs and sensory issues that your child may have. There are a few extra things that a parent can implement to help the process. 
    • For instance, if your child becomes upset by loud noises, you can purchase fire detectors that you can record your voice giving directions to leave the house, removing the loud noise trigger and providing familiarity through your voice.
    • Additionally, since children with autism are more comfortable with routine and familiar places, it may be beneficial to take your child during a calm period to a local fire station so they may become familiar with the uniforms and equipment.  The hope is that these measures will prepare and help your child better manage a real-life situation.
    • Practicing fire drills at home in the same way they do at school will also be helpful for your child to become more comfortable if ever there was a real emergency. 
  • Hot Water – As many children with autism also have sensory issues, some children cannot perceive hot or cold temperatures and this can lead to accidental burns.  This can pose a safety concern especially if they are using the faucet independently. Some ways to teach your child the difference between the taps both in the sink and in the shower/bath is through practicing turning them on and off. As well, another tool you can use is a sticker to symbolize the dangerous tap or area of the tap. You can also control the temperature of the water on your hot water tank. 
  • Doors – With wandering being a high concern, the use of locks may be advantageous however they may not be full-proof. Keys may be well hidden but there is still the chance that they may be found, therefore, an additional safeguard through the use of an alarm system may be beneficial. If your child does find a way to leave unsupervised, you need to be vigilant in ensuring that they are always wearing some form of identification that contains their contact and any other pertinent information.   

Wandering in Autism

As wandering is one of the main safety concerns facing many parents of children with autism, it is necessary to take steps to reduce or eliminate this risk. 

Here are some ways to help keep your child safe from wandering: 

  • Understanding your child’s wandering triggers – Some children with ASD may wonder out of curiosity such as distractions from the park, train tracks, the beach – while other children wander to get out of a certain environment, such as ones that may be stressful, loud, bright, chaotic, etc. It’s important to know which type of wanderer your child may be to better understand how to avoid the behaviour. 
  • Keep your home secure – As mentioned previously, the security of your home is of the utmost importance in helping to eliminate wandering.  Locking doors, hiding keys and setting up an alarm system are tools that can be used to help in securing your home. 
  • Keep practicing and modifying communication and behaviour strategies – Teaching your child to request to go somewhere can be a very functional replacement behaviour for wandering. Helping your child learn self-calming strategies to use when they find themselves in stressful, boring or frustrating situations will help in them self-regulate and can potentially avoid wandering. Through trial and error, you will be able to find what works best for your child in these particular situations. 
  • Setting expectations are important – All parents know how difficult it can be preparing and accomplishing an outing, it can be even more difficult for a parent of an autistic child.  It is therefore imperative to outline and set your expectations with your child. You will need to communicate the plan, which can include approximate timelines and rules to be followed with your child and any other accompanying family members/caretakers. If everyone is on the same page and understands the expectations, the outing will likely be a more positive experience. 
  • Identification and monitoring technology are essential tools – Since many children with autism are unable to easily communicate, these identification and monitoring tools are extremely helpful in tracking a wandering child. Having your child wear a form of identification (such as a bracelet/necklace, GPS, marked information on clothing, medical alert tags) will ensure that should your child get lost and be unable to communicate, all their relevant information (name, address, phone number, medical needs, etc.) is available to get them help.  

*************************************************************************************

The first step to help ease the worry around safety and a child with autism is having an emergency safety plan in place. Evaluating and determining what your family needs to be safe and protected at home, school and the community will provide a helpful guide to protect your family for the dangers that exist. An example of an emergency safety plan can be found at family wandering emergency plan. 

The checklist below will provide you with a practical starting point.  

Safety Plan Checklist:

  • You need to determine if your child wanders, runs away or gets lost in a crowd?
  • You will need to evaluate areas such as home, school or community activities for safety concerns? 
  • Once areas of safety concerns have been reviewed, you will need to ensure that preventative measures have been put in place in each of those areas.
  • You could purchase wearable identification containing important contact and medical information that will always be worn by your child.
  • You should communicate with your neighbours and community that your child has autism and may have special needs to be aware of (i.e. wandering).
  • You should communicate with your child’s school to create a plan which ensures that safety skills are included in their Individual Education Program (IEP). 
  • You should communicate with the local emergency service providers and let them know that your child may be at risk at given times.

Remember, if your child should wander:

  1. Stay calm
  2. Call 911
  3. Search nearby water first
  4. Implement your emergency safety plan

If you would like help establishing your safety plan, please contact us.

Translate »
 Skip to content